Writing in a Fugue

I’ll tell you what: this whole just write the next sentence/don’t bother to heavily detail beforehand is simultaneously awesome and confusing. I keep forgetting what I wrote! It’s bizarre not to know at every point exactly what has happened in the text I’ve already written, because I didn’t go over every piece of it in my head fifty times before actually writing it out.


It’s also weird to think that, for all the time I’ve had this story and these characters in my head, there were really only a handful of moments that I actually saw in advance. (Actually, I think what it is is that fully half the scenes I initially conceived got scrapped for one reason or another, mostly that the hero turned out to have a slightly different personality than I thought.) So, that’s confusing and requires a fair amount of re-reading to get myself caught back up if I take more than an hour in between writing sessions.

On the other hand, it’s kind of like I’ve become my own John Malkovich and created these bizarre trapdooors that let me see into my own mind as if I were someone else looking in. And that is totally cool. Damn, I’m weird.

Anyway, another week in which I failed to engage my narrative particularly often or particularly well. My ataraxia continues. I am trying to find patterns for when and why I can or cannot write. My prior belief that the only way I can guarantee a certain number of writing hours in a week is to do it before work is being validated. I will probably make the effort to continue to write in small spurts at other times, which will be a change from my old system of “if it’s not first thing it’s not.”

So, yeah. Back to JK Rowling-ing it, it is.



Filed under Writing

3 responses to “Writing in a Fugue

  1. ABE

    You are brave to throw it all out here.

    However, you taught me a new word: ataraxia. I like it! Almost like flow.

    And gave me a blog topic – what are we writing when we’re not writing (upcoming).

    Have you asked yourself in writing what is going on? In the current scene or chapter?

    • I have found that if I don’t write down an immediate experience of something, I often forget exactly how it went. So documenting my experiment with writing a new way has been basically an open journal. Glad it has been helpful and/or inspiring for you!

      I have not specifically asked about this scene because I’m not actually snagged in the narrative so much as snagged in the currents of real life that keep pulling me in other directions. Maybe I am letting it because the current scene is a bridge/reprieve sequence after a VERY emotionally charged event. But mostly I think I am just writing this story in discovery mode – that’s not usually my way, to find out what happens as I write, and I do know all the major events, but…I’m just not easily visualizing this story very much in advance. It’s different. Maybe it’s a good change, maybe it will be an experiment I’ll gladly not repeat. Remains to be seen. I got a good 50K to go before I can begin to answer! 🙂

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